Saturday, July 09, 2005

Trip to grandma's

My Auntie from Hong Kong is currently 8 months pregnant, and so I decided to go over to check things out. I had good intentions to visit my dear grandparents and all, but I was more or less a mini-maid for the day.

Firstly, I had to make 3 trips to satisfy my pregnant auntie's eccentric cravings for food. Like Char Kway Teow, Rojak and Durians. It's funny how a women's appetite can balloon at the speed of an errection in a matter of months. Not to mention, this auntie of mine is an Air Stewardess mind you, not some random glutton tai-tai. Oh well, she is a Tai-tai, just that she works. Her husband is fucking rich.

Next it was stock-replenishing time. Another Auntie, myself and 2 other maids went down to Sheng Siong Supermarket to buy stuff like orange juice, rice, detergent etc. We had to make 2 trips down because my Auntie kinda overkilled and bought way too many things.

And so my other Auntie wanted me to watch a Buddhist Video about life values, but was unfortunately in Mandarin so the content I understood was no more than pathetically meagre. My grandmother was beside me, and she is another one who cannot understand Mandarin at all. And then she started her adventures.

She told me about how she went to the Neighbourhood Clinic downstairs to visit Dr Sia last week, and complained to him about chest aches and related ailments, such as coughs and all, after returning from a trip to a Monastery in China. Now Dr Sia is a really careful and cautious new doctor, who has only been in practice for about 2 years or so...

This was what she said:

Well so I went downstairs to the Doctor Sia, and I told him I got chest pain lah, back pain lah, cough lah, pleghm lah. Then he carefully took down the problems I had lah, and then checked his handbook for the appropriate dosage for the medicine he wanted to prescribe to me. I told him: "Eh Doctor Sia, why not you lend me the book I go photocopy so I don't have to see you anymore. Everytime I come and see you, you will refer to the handbook"

And somemore, on other occasions:

And so, I went to see him again lah. Told him my cough wouldn't go away despite being on medication for weeks. He did the same thing, checked his book, and prescribed medicine to me.
This time, he told me: "Auntie ah, you must remember to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day okay?"
And then I told him: "Doctor, do you drink 8 glasses of water a day?"
He said: "Nope."
And there is my grandma going: "Then how can you ask me to drink 8 glasses when you as a doctor don't?"

That's my grandmother for you. Many say they now know why I turn out this way. Kinda makes some sense.

To further prove such a hypothesis, I would like to tell you a story about my grandma's brother, who got retrenched sometime last year and went through a number of interviews.

She told me:

Gu Gong (Granduncle in hokkien) saw an advertisement on the newspapers for a job, and so he went called up and made an appointment with the secretary. He reached the office, and found that the door was closed.
So he knocked the door and he said: "Ehhhhhhhhh, I'm here for an interview, anybody there?"
No reply, and so he knocked again. And this time a lady shouted back: "WAIT PLEASE!"
Without hestitation, he shouted back: "200 pounds!"

Till today, he couldn't understand why he failed to get the job.

Another incident involving this Granduncle of mine, as quoted from by Grandmother:

And so it was your great-grandmother's death anniversary, and went over to the temple to pay our respects. We walked past this altar. I looked in and I saw this tablet with a very very young lady's picture. I exclaimed:"Aiyoh so wasted, so young die liao"
Your Gu Gong walked past it as well after I did, and cried out: "Aiyah... Die liao also good lah, so fucking ugly"

No comments.

My grandparents, although they dote on me alot alot alot alot alot, they are constantly bickering, even at this age. My grandmother's 70ish, and my grandfather is 83 if I'm not mistaken. My grandmother dislikes my grandfather so much sometimes she tells me: "Gong Gong is so smelly, I rather smell your perspiration than sleep beside him". And oh yes, they do sleep on seperate beds, and rooms.

She told me today:

I had this friend, and when she was about 18 years of age, a mutual friend of hers wanted to introduce a man to her. The night before, she dreamt that all her teeth fell out, and didn't turn up for the match-making session. Bad omen mah you know, so she didn't go lor. And when I was introduced to your Gong Gong, the night before, I dream that all my teeth fell out, and I saw myself in hell. Yet I went for the match-making session.

Enough about my grandparents. I think you should get a rough idea on my bloody hip grandmother. Without a doubt I love both my grandparents a damn lot. To end it off, the beach is an almost place.

Moments I spend with you are the ones I love most.

"Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue"

Frente - Bizarre Love Triangle

posted@8:41 PM

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